December Diaries: Retrospection

I’ve been terrible and missed quite a few days already. In my defence, I got busy. Like real bat shit crazy busy. I’m still figuring things out slowly from the recent turn of events. It would be an understatement if I told you that I’ve been making progress. The end of the year blues doesn’t seem to help either.

Does that happen to you too? Do you feel sad, miserable, depressed (not used colloquially) even when the year comes to an end? I usually find myself feeling a very unusual sense of regret. Regret in itself is a funny feeling because I don’t feel it usually because I don’t regret things in life. I’m not lying. There are things I am disappointed about in life and things I cannot change, but the most amount of regret that I would have felt at that point was nothing short of momentary and it later found itself to the category of “acceptance”.

I’ve been doing a lot these days too. Accepting. I’m not happy with a number of things around me and there is either little or nothing I can do to change my circumstances. However, that too has found itself to the box of “acceptance”. I’m blaming it on the end of the year blues, because it gives me the same sense of hopelessness and misery that I feel at the end of every year. I still am unable to fathom as to why I feel the way I do because it’s not as though I have targets, goals or “resolutions” set out at the beginning of the year.

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But this year, like most years, I am lost. 

It’s a little difficult to write about things I’m at present grateful for given the way I feel, but here’s a lovely article I came across via Facebook.

I’ll be back with more sunshine tomorrow.

Do let me know if you are still up for some positive vibes delivered to your inbox every morning!

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