Despite being the day following a full-moon, the sky’s lights were not of the moon but of floodlights that shone from the construction sites nearby and a few other hoardings and buildings’ neon signage.
Standing outside the balcony, reflecting on the year’s events like most traditional people on social media would at this time of the year, I thought to myself that if I were to ever write something of worth, those would be my opening lines. But until then (and reality may have it that there may never be such a time) here’s my recap of the year gone by.
It’s somewhat personal, but not too personal because, I have issues and also as I get too protective of the people who is closest to me and thereby consciously refrain from divulging too much information. Do keep reading if you have nothing better to do on Boxing Day (or you just read my ones on 2014 and 2013, lol) and genuinely like sneaking up on other people’s lives on the internet because you are just as shy or intimidated or socially awkward to ask how they are IRL.
I will stick to my five-pointer scheme from a somewhat successful but miserably-failed attempt of Giving Thanks from earlier this year and will try courageously hard <cue Hercules> to fit all in to five numbers in no order whatsoever.
It’s a broad sense of the word and perhaps a cheat word too, this year, as most of my years in to the 20s, have been one filled with perspective. It has actually given me more perspective on my frequent-feelings of purposelessness thereby helping me try to find purpose.
A book I’m currently engrossed in (yes, I have found something that can capture my attention for more than ten minutes) tells me the following:
Usually, what you wish for doesn’t fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognise it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it.
The coming of perspective is often similar to the waves we find ourselves engrossed in while sea-watching (seeing?); you know when you sit on the beach and watch the sea for a countless number of hours or is that just me? It comes in small quantities first and then slowly begins to unravel larger waves, ideas and thought bubbles when the oceans deems you ready for it.
The perspective always ensures that it lurks around in some back alley like a creepy night crawler and grabs you (in the best possible sense of the word) when you feel as though you are ready for it.
I always like to think that every year that passes us by makes us wiser, stronger individuals and this year has been nothing short of it.
Overlapping with perspective unravelling is the power of positive thinking and no I do not mean that in The Secret (Rhonda Byrne) slash marketing tool kit kind of way.
I got myself involved with an old college senior’s initiative earlier this year, which was one of the key factors that may have contributed greatly towards my “increase” in positivity, positive thinking, be-safe-I-do-not-mean-marijuana kind of life high.
Twenty-fifteen has taught me the need to harness positive energies, positive thoughts and maintain positive influence in one’s life, in order to attain good if not great things.
My association with positivity has also made me lose touch with sentiment, and I mean that in a good way. I have begun letting go of many things that I once held sentimental and even have refrain from not capturing that moment and no, it’s not the seventeen-Seni hipster phase.
Instead, I try very hard to live in the moment, with or without pictures, with less material and just the happiness from the people around me.
Please do not form a mental image of me wearing ragged clothes from some second hand thrift store because Sri Lanka has no second hand thrift store and even if they did, I will not shop from there. lol.
My need for less material is not equivalent to lack of need for any material whatsoever. I still do want to buy a car, want to buy other fancy things that may come with labels when my wallet tells me that it’s a good time. But until then, I’m quite happy with the labels I seem to have bought for myself.
Love came in all forms this 2015. Love in its obvious form from a supposed-love long lost (lol) #rekindle to the love of a child who met me for the first time who came running to say goodbye.
Love has also inspired in me more acts of kindness and positivity and the need to tell others how much they mean to me because I am not very good at expressing myself verbally without turning out to be a very badly done plumbing job.
I’ve always been a happy loner, we all know that and this 2015, I took myself on a little trip. I enjoyed the time by myself under the guise of a half-Indian, half-Sri Lankan lost writer who was searching for her soul amidst the shores of Hikkaduwa, lol, because let’s all face it, it’s easier to be non-Sri Lankan girl in the coasts of this country, or so my education, society and media have taught me.
My time alone also made me realise how much I enjoy being amidst the right company. The lone time did help a lot with the perspective seeking #ProWaveTip and while I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, I foresee changes that I can only term positive in the year ahead.
Perhaps a combination of all these factors combined, I am truly grateful for this year gone by. I have met so many new people despite my increasing social anxiety, continued to maintain (hopefully healthy) relations with those nearest and dearest to me and I am thankful to myself (in a not-so narcissistic way) for having been able to made (what I thought was) the right decision at the right time that was often guided by intuition and past learnings.
This year has been nothing short of humbling and I cannot even fathom at how fast it has gone by. For those who made it happen, all I can say is thank you and for those who might not be reading this and are no longer a part of my life, trust me, the feeling is mutual.
I hope you babies had a lovely 2015 yourselves. If you didn’t, take solace in the fact that you made it through the year and from what we know, the worst is behind us now 🙂