It’s been too far and too few between my blog posts and I am not even going to try explaining my absence because it would seem wasteful an activity. Work happened, in short and have I achieved anything out of it following my weeks of slaving away to the non-corporates besides the kilos I seem to have lost, I do not know. But all is well and the important thing is that I’m writing again.
I actually started writing – pen to paper – a few weeks ago before I left to Nepal. I had read about it sometime back but getting on board with it was something I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do, all over again! Don’t get me wrong, I’d journal as a child but then as I grew older, the habit seem to die a natural death.
But this time around, it worked well. The writing kept me sane, as it rightfully should.
During my week of madness however, I neither wrote nor blogged and hence my sanity was at stake and even to date, I seem to be dealing with its repercussions. My mind tells me in retrospect that I should’ve taken caution given the circumstances I tend to lure myself into but exhaustion seems to have overpowered me.
On an unrelated note, a rush of work has made me start to question work itself. I don’t know if it’s just me or the twenty-something phase we go through but is it normal to question or validate one’s work? I am able to neither justify my actions nor the happiness I seem to incur as a result of it, however there is that constant halo of doubt, worry and even contemplation on if I am doing what I want to do. True that this is more often what us Sri Lankans would call “hit or miss” but thinking and overthinking through journaling seem to incline more towards the “miss” as opposed to the former. Or I at times think that I should get what my parents would call a “regular” (Dolly Parton style) job and then let myself into the corporate craze. Perhaps, life would seem simpler, finances would seem less complicated and I might even find happiness or the appropriate amount of loneliness (and even help deal with my social anxiety) I am seeking from a workplace.
That’s my weekly rant for you. I hope you babies are well.