On Vicious Circles

Hi all. Yes, I just greeted everyone on my post, please don’t ask me why I did that. No, I haven’t watched any Superwoman vids either recently. I saw a hike in stats yesterday, some unexpected Friday madness I suppose, it seems and it felt a little good.

I’m also on a little project to find a niche. A forte. A niche. Fuarmer. (I am aware of the office folk reading this. Should try to avoid bad words noh. A little at least. I mean, I just started out there. Lols.) So niche. I dunno man. I’ve been thinking of it for nearly two weeks now. While driving to work; at work; during the regular breaks I take to get away from the PC and stick my head out of the bathroom window; at home; while cooking; before sleeping; while brushing my teeth, do you see what this has done to me? What if I don’t have A thing to write about. Then I thought of what Superwoman does and was like whoa. Maybe, maybe, maybe? Yes, something more original, for sure. But you know, maybe?! 🙂

So, vicious circles. No, I don’t quite intend to dive in to the unequal distribution of resources. That would just get me depressed in an instant. Let’s say that I’m streamlining this to meeting people? People here would obviously not include family, coz they are assigned before you could protest (I like my bunch fyi) but, both friends and people you find yourself romantically or physically inclined to. The latter, I have learnt, is possible.

While in school, we have inseparable friendships. We even tell each other that we would work in the same place etc. Once we leave school however, that’s when shit gets real. Friendships undergo ‘some’ change and you begin to realise certain differences. You neither see each other everyday nor work in the same place. Absence does not make the hearts grow fonder in this instance. You start studying at a new place or making money at an institution that exploits. Most importantly, you begin to meet new people. You start realising ‘cooler’ – yes, I used ‘cool’ – things about these people. Thus begins the reshuffling of priorities. 

As a twenty-something pseudo analyst of people and relationships (coz anthropologist sounds too fancy for this) I’ve realised that, the lack or thereof, being one a criterion that prompts us to meet new people. I apologise for the grammatical inaccuracy of that sentence, if any. [We were the colonised okay. English is my second language. Haw 😀 ]

The heat of the moment, the spontaneous overflow of the Heavens know what – no don’t get dirty, I am being genuine here, happens even with ‘new friends’. In case you were sincerely not misinterpreting this, apologies! – and the excitement of being caught up in the situation, makes the look-before-you-leap adage a little impossible.

We make our new ‘relationship’ and then things are all good for a while. I’m not limiting this to romantic/physical affiliations fyi, works the same with friendships. We hang out with our new-found partners/friends almost everyday, never run out of things to talk about, IM every minute not together, until you get back to the usual daily grind. Our priorities that were super-balanced seem to take some weird turn of events as suddenly it dawns on us the deadlines are becoming scarier, your boss is PMSing or requires a birthday present of Viagra (I’m trying to be gender-neutral). We get back to our life before new-found affiliations and then realise that things weren’t so bad before them. Absence or even a change of interest or for most part of the time, maturity enable us to analyse the situation and relationship better and ask ourselves, “What the fuck am I doing?” You have an Edison moment: you guys don’t have anything on common, your old-friends don’t like your new friend and you begin to realise why.

We ditch our ‘new relationship’ and move on with life. I mean, seriously, how did that even go down? No common ground. At all! Things are all good for a while. You are making money or studying and leading an ordinary life. Some may call it mundane even. You even occasionally crave for a splash of excitement and a spontaneous (yes, that word. twice. eek) drive down South. Or up North 😉

Then: Random Friday night. You go drinking with a few friends and they bring their friends. | Saturday afternoon movie. Friends and friends of friends. | You go online. Start following someone new. Let’s limit the references to Twitter coz I’m not really sure how Facebook works any more. Mentions turn to DMs and then I dunno, meet ups?

Yes, the whatsapp 'haw' face. Please note, Interpretation is contextual.

Yes, the whatsapp ‘haw’ face. Please note, Interpretation is contextual.

One thing I’ve realised about all such ‘new’ relations is the relativity of it all. As stated earlier, you begin to realise that this mysterious individual who might soon be more than an acquaintance, is ‘better’ than the last girl you were in bed with or last guy you went for dinner with or the last friend you watched the match with. Why? I dunno. Something is ‘cooler’. They have a feat in them the last person didn’t: instant and maybe even only bonding factor.

I don’t know if it’s human nature or even a rule in this continuous process of growing up, but our search for friends or partners becomes a vicious circle, because it is done with the intent of seeking perfection. Something we know we don’t have but fail to realise it’s universality. I think.

As always, all posts listed under the ‘Baconian Rationale’ are a matter of subjectivity. Feedback, criticism etc are welcome 🙂

Have a good weekend and happy August!

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