It’s the feeling – no, not high on rum and coke, at least not yet. There’s only tea in the cup as at now. Lols – you get when you watch a blonde movie. Rather, it’s the feeling you get immediately after you are done with it. No, don’t get me wrong, I am not speaking mushy high. Just genuinely feel good high. I do have a pounding headache now and the 8tracks mix at the moment is well a feel good one too. I dunno. I just sent a long-ass mail to my school-bestie living in the States whom I haven’t seen since 2010. I miss her terribly. She’s supposed to come home this Christmas and let’s toast tonight rum and coke, hoping that she would 🙂
All this while, I assumed that it was easiest to write when you are miserable. Actually yes, tragedies are always easier to document. But now, no, I do not dwell in humour. Maybe a feeling of content? For those who know me, you might be aware of my theory of content and happiness. How content becomes static and happiness becomes that which is volatile and easily susceptible to fluctuate. Hence, I am not a pro-happiness. I prefer a mundane state of being content in my conformist-world. In an attempt to not contradict myself I must mention that I do enjoy sudden spasms of happiness, but I can do without it too.
To be content, I think it is important that one becomes truly aware of their potential. Of their can’s and cannot’s. Of the many lists I make in my little head, I do have a can-cannot list with my abilities, values and so on mapped out. I know that I am not academically gifted, I love to learn, yet my ability to execute my learnings in the form of examinations, is literally a fail! Lols.
I think I can teach someone, if I truly did understand a particular concept. Also, teaching another does become the ultimate way in which you can evaluate and gauge your knowledge. It is time-consuming. For those who are not academically gifted as I am, I suggest you visit the library, yes I mean it. It’s not nerdy. It’s actually quite a cool thing to do. Librarians even become warmer towards you. The best thing about libraries is how you go with the intention or with a list of things you intend on reading up on or touching ground. But lo and behold. You, or at least I am taken up by the sheer number of books on one particular subject, genre, discipline and, it is just magnificent! Yes, so I leave the library doing a bit of stuff I intended on – which for most of the part was driven by guilt! 😀 And another list of things I intend to read up on at least through our neighbourhood Wiki.
Like I was saying, teaching. Yes, I do have a tendency to deviate – my mentor told me so too! If you don’t have a physical person to teach it to, teach yourself. Give a speech to an imaginary audience – I love doing that! 🙂 Or try teaching a wall a bit everyday. At times it does wonders.
So, I dunno. Where does that bring me? I am at a point where I am very aware of my capabilities. Or I like to think so. I also seem to have master the art of doubt and suspicion, which I can live with, for now at least.
Works for me, this being content.
I like static.
I like normal.
I like non-excitement and a cup of tea at 2117 h on a Saturday 🙂
Have a good weekend people. God loves us all.