My recent vacation back home was a solitary one and to most, an unexpected one. Not many people knew of my arrival. So for those who didn’t, I hope this post to an extent serves as an explanation of sorts.
I am a troubled person – I like to think, it sounds (as the last NYT article I read said) trendier. But then, when I read the stories f those close to me, both family and friends, I realise that we are all trouble souls, kindred – as Anne Shirley would say – nonetheless. So, that makes me normal, I suppose. Cheers to that.
I’m sitting at a hospital waiting area for the second time this week. Next to me, a father (grandfather, I learn later) is ruffling the little head of his little boy lying on his lap. A few minutes after, the boy asks me, “පිස්සුද?” to which, out of my love for children, promptly reply, “තාම නෑ.” A host of laughter in the solemn waiting area and the little ones mother slapping his arm asking him to behave himself. A little later, he stands close to me and looks at the various things on my lap: two phones, my Shuffle, a book and some loose sheets of paper on where I am scribbling this post. I ask him, “මොනවද ඕනේ?” and he says “බඩු.” I cannot help but smirk. “බඩු” has a multitude of connotations in my twenty-something years of exposure 🙂
So, this vacation. To start with, why am I here? Why was I here rather, since this is being published in India as a result of the lack of internet at home – yes, my maternal force found it handy to disconnect the connection because the girls were living away. (However, like no-whatsapp since September, I find no-internet too, liberating, at times.) So I tell Mama that I’m buying my tickets back home because of some minor health scares, missing out on beef and as I needed a break from India. This vacation, I realised will be my penultimate vacation in SL, from India before (hopefully) graduation.
(The little boy is kissing his teddy bear. For a kid-lover, bias towards female-babies, I find this, very cute.)
I also learnt that it was a time for to well, ‘grow up’. I’ve been hearing qualms (and seem to enjoy!) related to my regressing back to childhood. Maybe, I do miss out on being a child. Childhood, when life was simple, indecisive and well seemingly problem-free as you didn’t understand the nuances of adult-yelling. Since of late, my recollections of childhood are seemingly pleasant and nostalgic. There are a good deal of memories that cannot be recollected without the familiar host of tears, yet as we agreed, it is part of us and makes us who we are today. So no, I will not go back in time and redo anything, but instead, I choose to regress to my being a child 🙂 So yes, go ahead, spoil me 🙂 Lulz. Or not. I still feel bad when people do things for me!
So, this vacation, that is what I did. I stayed at home – maybe a little more than I wanted to -, went out a bit, met a friend I’m very fond of while buying lingerie not meant for me, drove a friend to the cinema and caught up with happenings of three months on a twenty-minute drive, went to the new Coco Veranda, hosted my best friend and his lady home for dinner (collected housewife-brownie points in the process), stole a few minutes at a spiral stairway and discovered that I was capable of making people happy.
So, I don’t know where that leaves me now. I am to come out of my regressive state, stop getting annoyed and grow up, it seems. Who knows how long we’ll live. Life is too short to hold any grudges. This weekend is helping me come out of my usual feeling of wanting to run back to India. My inner wii, chi, psyche, intuition or whatever people call it these days, is telling me the purpose of the some thousands of dollars my Mum’s been shelling out since 2010. Took me five semesters, two-and-a-half-years to figure that out, but it looks like a hit.