‘Tis Untitled

I am thankful for my faith, family and friends. No, I’m not committing suicide, but I am only glad that people like David will be Godfather to my children. There is a lot we can learn from such an  individual. Ilyman. 

Things in life don’t come easy. Neither the good nor the bad. We don’t work for what is not good, obviously, but then at times, things fall apart and you wonder what went wrong, where. You question your morals, intentions and then before you know it, all you are longing for, is a moment of peace.

A recent conversation with David, one of my closest friends besides the girl in the States, made me realise, how we all strive for peace and that moment of ‘happiness’. Well, as most posts go, I do find the concept of ‘happiness’ very problematic. It gives more room for fluctuations and hence, you just become a very cynical and bitter person. I mean, not that I am already not, just read the last line again. Lulz. But no, what I am trying to say is that being content is something most people need to adopt. I mean, we know that we are anyway going to be sad at the end right? Okay. I need to stop with my cynicism. Life is too short for all that jazz.

Now peace. Peace comes to all of us in different ways. Some folks might have it with some weed, some with ice cream, another bunch with a new pair of shoes and the rest with weird random-rare moments of temporary shirking or fulfilling of responsibility.

Now what one does with that peace, is subjective – as most poststructuralist understandings go. Actually, I don’t quite know what I do with my moments of peace. I think I just sit and dwell in it for a while and hopefully look to converting that energy to something more productive.

Shit happens. We need to understand that the world is more fucked up than we think it is and it’s our responsibility to be patient with it. It’s easier said than done, I know. But having said that, it is my firm idealistic, but attainable belief that, we should not ideally dwell on what was lost. We should not dwell on the men we left, the relationships we thought that would have lasted, the exams we could have aced, the school life we thought would be less weird or the better college life we could have led. I dunno man. Just deal with it. We all got issues. We are all weird. We are all equally fucked up.

I like to think that things could have turned out different, that I was academically smarter or you know, nerdy shit like that. But it didn’t and I am happy to say that I love how things are now. I am happy about what once was and do not regret about any thing not-having happened. I pacify myself by reiterating its importance: God mapped it out for you, do not question. There’s always something better for you out there. I may not have entirely found peace or might not even be close to finding it but things are stable and I am content. I only hope that all of you out there are too.


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