In my process of maturing I have come in to terms with a few things in life. Or maybe a lot, but not that all of it matters to this post any way.
I would like to blame it on education and living away, since we all like playing the blame game and not taking responsibility for our actions – for a few changes in me seen within the last two-three years.
I am quieter. Not entirely quiet, I do still talk a fair amount, yet I don’t get yelled at to shut it, as I did some years into my teenage life. I think it’s a good thing. Besides being now looked at as a “lady” – total Win – Being quiet has its advantages and so far, that is all I see. This has resulted in me being more observant and thus guiding me in my formation of opinions of people, situations, conflicts – yes I could be judgemental but it should be kept in mind that I also have the ability to see both sides of the story.
I also apply my little knowledge of psychology to things around me. While they do say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so as far as I’m concerned, my diagnosis of myself, is fine and to some extent stands true! Besides the usual traces of Schizophrenia I do also see the applicability of the development characteristics seen in respective age categories that I or someone else belong to.
Now comes the idea of displacement. (Hang me for having thought of it before as projection. I seem to have gotten my Freud all over the place.) Now I think and I believe that I do practice displacement. I do channel my anger, frustration and those unexpressed feelings and etcetera in my subconscious to more socially accepted methods, in my case: cooking, writing, cleaning / house keeping – to an extent oft labelled compulsive. I may not be necessarily kickass at any of these but that’s not really the point. This displacement has also made me enjoy these tasks. At times I write for fun or cook when I’m bored.
I predict a very happy life ahead. Hopefully one with money, lots of shoes and a sustained sense of social responsibility.