My Death Song

So I found my death song. For all those concerned, no I am not contemplating suicide, on the contrary I am questioning the very notion of life and its existence.

At times I wonder, as to whether people were actually ever concerned about anyone but themselves, even prior to the industrial revolution and everything that is said to have become the destroyer of humanity. Were people ever humane? God put us in this world to find ourselves, our purpose but in the process have we not forgotten ourselves, our identity and moreover, God?

So motivational speakers or inspiring movies get us thinking. We ponder about it for hours. Some of us Google the concern addressed and read up about it. Those who are more enthusiastic join organisations that share similar beliefs. Others opt for more drastic measures such as overthrowing the Government in the name of change. While all this is very fine, we are completely negating or perhaps even overlooking the truth we already know.

Now, the organisation we are hypothetically members of becomes corrupt. We become disgusted with its practices and begin to see the futility of its efforts. We see the impracticalities of a day-long beach clean-up or visiting an orphanage and spending a day with them. At the end of the day, we question the organisation and ask them, “What is the point?” The beach becomes filthy the very next day and the lives of those in the orphanage goes back to being a Dickensian novel.

Those who opt for overthrowing the existing government in the name of change start undoubtedly with good motives. Or so speaks the French Revolution. In a recent lesson on Deconstruction, we see the implied centre. The centre that holds a system. So if this centre fails, its subjects become frustrated and plot against the centre’s existence. Rebellion takes place, the subjects find itself in the centre. Despite democracy, there comes the centre they did not want before. Despite democracy, the one that holds the centre is taken over by autocratic intent. The Arabs did Spring after all.

When bringing all this to context, it is no surprise that experience and epistemology result in a twenty-one year old asking herself, what is the point? Why is life always a struggle? Chief Seattle tells us that with the industrialisation came the end of living and the beginning of survival. It’s hard to think of what it must have been like to live, as it seems to be a concept alien to us. Money can by us happiness, I agree. But those momentary motivation speakers and overwhelming movies gets us thinking as to whether we are not supporting the cause of unequal distribution of resources. So we donate to charity. In my case, I give away shoes. Only to buy new ones a few weeks later.

As humans, we are all hypocritical. We are all selfish. The Prophets of whom  we read of in the Quran seem so far away. While the necessity for role models has never been higher, the supply is no where close to meeting the demand required.

We strive for change. We strive for a better tomorrow. Some of us strive to change the world with a mere blog. The others by living for the day as we do not know what tomorrow would be like. The rest just look to the end of days. It perhaps maybe the beginning of living, after all.

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